Alex Hort-Francis

Articles:

(25.01.15) – Labour’s New Party Political Broadcast Analysed

We examine Corbyn’s new campaign video to find all of his secret clues…

It’s been four months since Jeremy Corbyn sold his soul to a crossroads demon in exchange for leadership of the Labour Party, and he puzzlingly still hasn’t been discovered to have accidentally brutally stabbed himself in the stomach while shaving. This can only mean that the Conservatives have forgotten about poor old J-Corbs amongst the understandable orgy of anus cocaine and fox strangulation that normally follows a majority Tory general election result. To remedy this, Much Newer Labour have commissioned a party political broadcast to remind us all what our favourite unshaven underdog has been up to before he unmysteriously convinces himself to commit suicide in a wood with no witnesses at some point later this year.

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(22.09.15) – The Death of Thatcherism?

Watching the Andrew Marr show the morning after the Labour leadership election felt like waking up in a fictional alternate history; people like that never get into positions of power in the real world. Along with coverage of Jeremy Corbyn’s win was an interview with the cyborgified brain of Adolf Hitler, who criticised Angela Merkel’s refugee policy, followed by Keith Richards on what his coven of deathless vampire musicians thought about the resurgence of Britain’s left.

The prompt media attack on Team Corbyn has been equal parts predictable and absurd. Within hours of his appointment as shadow chancellor the internet was plastered with the irrelevant factoid that John McDonnell once whimsically commented he would, were he a time traveller, return to the 80s and assassinate Margaret Thatcher — a premise I’m hopeful Chris Mullin turns into a feature-length tv drama.

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(11.08.15) – Artwork: Labour Leadership Election Infographic

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(28.07.15) – ‘Only Hope Can Win’: Labour Need To Go On The Offensive – Electing Corbyn Is The First Step

There’s an exchange in the original 90s British version of House of Cards (it’s on Netflix and just as good, if not better, than its US counterpart) that goes like this: the Conservative prime minister asks an advisor, “How do you rate the performance of this Government?” The advisor replies, “You’ve got 46% of the people, and that means you can afford to ignore the rest. The opposition has no chance because it’s got no powerbase. Most of the ‘underclass’ aren’t even registered to vote. You’ve virtually destroyed the two-party system.”

Some things apparently never change.

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(19.07.15) – The London Tube Strike: Crab Logic At Its Most Crabbiest

Last week saw a 24 hour strike by London Underground staff, with commuters and tourists left to make their own way across the city. The dispute centred on a new, much-heralded night-time service, which unions claim would impose changes to the working conditions of Underground staff without proper consultation. Union members voted overwhelmingly for strike action, with concerns about safety on the Underground voiced.

Watching people’s responses to the Tube strike is an exercise in forced deja-vu, with the same arguments repeated across the web: ‘plenty of people work harder for more hours and less pay’, ‘if they adon’t like it they’re free to find another line of work’ and the classic ‘they should suck it up and work harder like the rest of us’. The common denominator being that because the striking workers already have better pay and conditions than many of the city’s commuters they aren’t justified to take action to stop these conditions changing without their consent.

There is actually already a term for this: ‘crab mentality’ (although I happen to think ‘crab logic’ is a bit snappier).